"please (please) read these.
cant say who, but one of my best friends was tapped by deep glamour's blog to create "diaries of a groomzilla", documenting a true diva's gay wedding experience, from planning to execution.
if i were the back cover of his hypothetical book (cased in patent fuschia, and in which i fully intend to passively invest), i'd say:
"three cheers for 'upwardly mobile yuppies'!"
"move over meryl…..the devil gets his drag on in dolce!"
"SJP meets nathan lane, in an epic journey of recognition, delightfully manufactured identity crises and acceptance "
seriously."
Diaries of a Groomzilla
A friend passed this on:
Commodified Revolution
Art shouldn't be soft, it needs that competitive edge. That's why the most aggressive forms of expression have emerged as a response to the times we live in. People have always been drawn to the ideal that through sheer talent and grit and determination, one will rise up out of the masses to take the crown. The return of the gladiator. Note the popularity of mixed martial arts fighting, "extreme" sports, and other forms of expression such as graffiti art, which require participants to risk so much, with the hope of gaining some sort of feeling that they are alive and an individual, validated that they still have the chance to control their destiny.
Society needs that roughness and toughness right now. Survivalist mentality, as underneath it all most people are scared that the whole system will collapse, and everyone might just be left to fend for themselves (note the media coverage of Katrina and Ike as evidence that we are all just one natural disaster away). I think on a sub-conscious level people are drawn to these kind of art forms, as a way of mentally/physically preparing for a possible revolution. But the current system is pretty good at quelling revolution. Just as quickly as these revolutionary art forms arise, capitalism figures out a way to encounter, embrace, and co-opt these revolutionary arts. Maybe that's a good thing, if you can make a living off of your revolutionary arts.
Revolution meets Capitalism. I think it will be more comfortable this way, for both sides. Let's just hope that the sponsors don't run out of money.
Society needs that roughness and toughness right now. Survivalist mentality, as underneath it all most people are scared that the whole system will collapse, and everyone might just be left to fend for themselves (note the media coverage of Katrina and Ike as evidence that we are all just one natural disaster away). I think on a sub-conscious level people are drawn to these kind of art forms, as a way of mentally/physically preparing for a possible revolution. But the current system is pretty good at quelling revolution. Just as quickly as these revolutionary art forms arise, capitalism figures out a way to encounter, embrace, and co-opt these revolutionary arts. Maybe that's a good thing, if you can make a living off of your revolutionary arts.
Revolution meets Capitalism. I think it will be more comfortable this way, for both sides. Let's just hope that the sponsors don't run out of money.
It Ain't Trickin' If You Got It?
These days a few rappers have been rapping the phrase "it ain't tricking if you got it". Here is a list of recent songs that contain this utterance.
Lil Wayne's "A Milli":
"And it ain't trickin if you got it,
But you like a bitch with no ass, you ain't got shit"
Lil Wayne's "Got Money":
"Bitch ain't shit but a hoe and a trick
But you know it ain't trickin if you got it"
T.I.'s "Whatever You Like":
"Hundred K deposits, vacations hit the tropics
Cause errbody know it ain't trickin if ya got it
Ya need to never ever gotta go to yo wallet
Long as I got rubberband banks in my pocket"
T-Pain's "Believe It":
"I can put you in the log cabin, somewhere in aspen
Girl ain't nothing to the pain aint trickin if you got it what you askin....for"
I created this flow chart based on this new philosophy on tricking. It can easily help you determine whether you are tricking.
This whole idea that it's not tricking if you got it, really got me thinking. If this is truly the case, then we are seeing a clear policy shift in the position amongst the rap community. For years the general consensus has clearly been that tricking was tricking, and it didn't matter whether or not you had money. This new trend is a complete paradigm shift. It can only make one wonder what an O.G. Mack Pimp Playa Hustler like Too Short would think about this.
Lil Wayne's "A Milli":
"And it ain't trickin if you got it,
But you like a bitch with no ass, you ain't got shit"
Lil Wayne's "Got Money":
"Bitch ain't shit but a hoe and a trick
But you know it ain't trickin if you got it"
T.I.'s "Whatever You Like":
"Hundred K deposits, vacations hit the tropics
Cause errbody know it ain't trickin if ya got it
Ya need to never ever gotta go to yo wallet
Long as I got rubberband banks in my pocket"
T-Pain's "Believe It":
"I can put you in the log cabin, somewhere in aspen
Girl ain't nothing to the pain aint trickin if you got it what you askin....for"
I created this flow chart based on this new philosophy on tricking. It can easily help you determine whether you are tricking.
This whole idea that it's not tricking if you got it, really got me thinking. If this is truly the case, then we are seeing a clear policy shift in the position amongst the rap community. For years the general consensus has clearly been that tricking was tricking, and it didn't matter whether or not you had money. This new trend is a complete paradigm shift. It can only make one wonder what an O.G. Mack Pimp Playa Hustler like Too Short would think about this.
My Goal Is...
To generate a lot of goodwill by giving advice that will help people live happier lives... that's why I'm always giving out so much unsolicited advice.
Learn How To Make A F#*%ing Ice Coffee
To all the coffee shops out there that need to step their game up, this message is for you.
It's really tough in LA to find a good iced coffee. Maybe most people out there haven't ever had a good iced coffee, so they don't know the difference. In fact, most places don't really seem to understand the easily achieved details that go into making an iced coffee good. First of all, to any coffee shop that pours hot coffee over ice, you are f-ing morons. Stop it. All you do is melt the ice, and end up with a poor watered down version of iced coffee. It tastes horrible. Really you've completely ruined it for me, and you're lucky I don't throw that coffee at your head. So the first thing you need to do is make the coffee earlier, and let it chill out in the fridge. That would be a good start.
It's really tough in LA to find a good iced coffee. Maybe most people out there haven't ever had a good iced coffee, so they don't know the difference. In fact, most places don't really seem to understand the easily achieved details that go into making an iced coffee good. First of all, to any coffee shop that pours hot coffee over ice, you are f-ing morons. Stop it. All you do is melt the ice, and end up with a poor watered down version of iced coffee. It tastes horrible. Really you've completely ruined it for me, and you're lucky I don't throw that coffee at your head. So the first thing you need to do is make the coffee earlier, and let it chill out in the fridge. That would be a good start.
The second thing is, and this is so easy, you need to have simple syrup (liquid sugar) available. If I want to add some sugar to the coffee, I don't want to end up with a bunch of sugar granules just sitting at the bottom of the cup. Simple syrup is the only thing that will truly mix properly with cold coffee.
So that's really it. Just two little things that cafes could be doing to make their coffee 100x better. Stop being lazy and just do it. These two things are very common at cafes in New York City, but for some reason they seem to have eluded almost every coffee place I go to in Los Angeles.
Two spots get an honorable mention:
Joan's on Third in Beverly Hills
Ground Worx in Downtown LA (and various locations around the city, but I've only been to the one downtown)
Both of these spots still only get a B from me when it comes to coffee. Neither spot has simple syrup, but the ice coffee is still half-way decent.
Skulls
It seems like the skull is more popular than ever as a design element. From fashion to street art, the skull has become a ubiquitous icon. It got me thinking, why is the skull so popular these days? If you look back at it's history, it seems to be a symbol with grim connotations. The most common place you were likely to see a skull 50 years ago was probably on a bottle of poison. Which makes sense, because its sort of a universal archetype for danger and potential death. Which got me thinking, perhaps all these designers and artists are drawn to this symbol, because sub-consciously they are making a statement, that whatever they are putting the skull on is poisonous. The fact that the skull is everywhere these days, and has saturated the marketplace as an icon, is really a commentary that our society itself and everything around us, from the mass produced clothing made in sweatshops to the buildings and property that are part of an unfeeling capitalist system, are really all poisonous, and killing us slowly.
Or maybe they just look cool.
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